I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
