So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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