FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
