Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
high people should be assigned attendants
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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