we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
