Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
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