doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
