Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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