no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
