this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
