Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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