Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
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