I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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