woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish i was in the wii world.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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