I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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