I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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