the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i dont even know how to be here
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
