Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
