There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
