Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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