sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
