I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
