My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
