On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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