Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
