I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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