i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
