where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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