Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
