We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
