Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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