she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
