ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
