He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Panties = found
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
