Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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