You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
