sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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