I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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