I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
