You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
