We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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