Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
