I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
