Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
