i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
