Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
