talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
