Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
