Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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