then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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